What's up everybody?!?! Just to confirm, I'm not dead and I don't hate you. If there's anyone who has kept up with this and my Youtube channel over the past few months, you'd know that I hadn't posted anything in a while, the only logical explanation to this being that I was dead. But rest assured, I are not kill. Anyway, let's get into the serious part of this blog.
As I mentioned previously, this blog and my vlogs are going to be vastly different; my vlogs are going to be my more random, off the wall humor with me doing and saying assorted stupid things while my BlogSpot is meant to me a more serious medium for my thoughts interspersed with random internet humor. Starting with this post, my blogs are going to get a little more serious.
Recently (meaning, technically, yesterday, since it's 12:45 a.m. as I'm typing this) my spring break for university ended. I stayed here in my university town over the break to work and just hang out but also to take a break and catch my breath for a minute; my classes this semester have been destroying me and I definitely needed the break. While the break did act as a good de-load, so to speak, it also acted as a time that I could really think and contemplate things about my life that I had previously been neglecting. While I thought about many things and came to several realizations over the break, one realization stuck out above all others: I need to quite being a Beta bitch!
You may be thinking, "Well, obviously, Rob! You're so Beta, it's not even funny! Look at yourself! Do even lift, bro?!!" And to that, I say..... But seriously, I do need to stop being so fucking beta. For those of you who don't know, let me explain to you what being Beta REALLY means because most people have a misconception of what Beta is. Beta, truly, is an over-aggressive state of thinking and consciousness. Don't talk to us with intellectual bullshit, Rob! Dafuq is that supposed to mean?!?!!3?!! Essentially, it is an erratic way of thinking and acting. If you look at what is commonly thought of as and "Alpha" (can be either male or female) you'll see that they are all over the place action-wise and usually mind wise. Have you ever been able to hold a solid conversation with and "Alpha?" If your experiences are anything like mine, I'm guessing not because either 1) they want to do anything besides talk, it seems or 2) they don't seem to have a coherent train of thought. Just think about the typical "Alpha"; an annoying asshole who no one really wants to be around. Rob, it can't be... That's exactly what I'd become over the past few months! I become a very negative, angry person yet again simply because things in life were not going as I'd wanted them to or as I thought they would. I lashed out at those around me in a passive aggressive manner and let myself become a shitty person, and for what? Because life got a little harder? HOW FUCKING BETA IS THAT??!!!!!!!
I came to the realization several days ago that I no longer wanted to be like that. I want to be true Alpha. What the hell is that? True Alpha is being grounded; it is letting go of negative feelings and trusting yourself. For me to do this is going to be very difficult and will require me to be very conscious of it. I've decided that I'm going to do away with my illogical aggression toward menial things as well as my feeling of self doubt and uncertainty; I'll trust my mind in face of difficulties when it says, "Though this hard, you can do this; you can accomplish what you need to." As overly simplistic as it may seem, I've essentially decided to quit being such an outright asshole and start being more positive.
This might all sound like bullshit I suppose, so I understand if you think that. I haven't explained my full opinion and thoughts on the whole Alpha-Beta thing and I'm sure if I did it would be only slightly less confusing than this. So, I'll leave you with this random, incoherent rambling that is the product of sleep deprivation and my vlog not uploading nearly as fast as I want it to (damn you, Youtube processors!). Take home message: I was in a bad place in life and I've decided I'm finally going to do something about it so things can start to look up for me. Hope you got something from this blog and I'll talk you next time!
